Grandpa

As I said, I'm a little behind on blogging so I will catch up a little. Unfortunately, the first part of my catching up is sad news that my Grandpa passed away. Below is the text of what I said at his funeral. After I got the news, I booked a flight to Boston, leaving David and the kids to fend for themselves for a few days. When I told Simon I was going he seemed a little sad until David said "it's just going to be us 3 boys in the house" and then he broke into a HUGE smile. Apparently, I am not needed all that much around here! At least they were all happy to see me when I got home!

Here's my speech:
The last thing I was expecting to hear my mom say when she called me at 11:00pm on Wednesday night was that Grandpa had died. I had a feeling when I saw her number come up that something was wrong because she doesn’t usually call me that late. But never in a million years did I think it was Grandpa.
I still can’t quite wrap my head around it. This past Friday was the first time since I can’t remember when that I didn’t dial his familiar number and hear a cheerful “Good Shabbos Em!” as soon as he picked up. He actually used to do that even before he had caller ID. Once I asked him how he knew it was me and he said he didn’t really know and in fact had confused a few other people by answering the phone like that when it wasn’t really me.
I loved my Friday afternoon talks with Grandpa. I often called him when I was finishing up my cooking and cleaning up the kitchen—talking to him made those tasks slightly more enjoyable. Whether he was asking about what the kids were up to or whether we were comparing the weather in Florida and Israel and laughing about everyone dealing with the snow he just was always interested in what was going on with us and he was always so happy to hear from me. It was really weird this past Friday to have no one to call.
I guess those Friday afternoon talks really only started after I graduated high school. Before that, Granny and Grandpa used to come for dinner every Friday night. Those dinners were always fun…between Granny throwing food and Grandpa attempting to sing, how could they not be? There were also always interesting conversations and Granny and Grandpa both always knew what was happening in our lives as well as the names of all of our friends and what was going on with all of them as well. As recently as a couple of weeks ago, Grandpa was asking me about certain friends and what they are up to. I don’t think he was just making conversation—he truly cared. Also, Grandpa always wanted to know if anyone was giving us a hard time—if they were, he said, he would send his “friends” to take care of it.
In addition to the times Granny and Grandpa would come to our house, I cherish the memories of going to their house on Ober Road. I can still picture Grandpa standing in the doorway as we’d pull into the driveway. With his hands in his pockets and sort of bending backwards a little bit—he always stood like that. He would play checkers with us, take us for nature walks, and be a good sport about playing whatever role we assigned him when we were recording plays on the tape recorder with Granny.
Although for the most part, Grandpa was fairly quiet and unassuming, he did take his role as head of the family very seriously when it came to running the Passover Seder. I don’t really know what a Seder will be without Grandpa at the head of the table leading the show…skipping the parts that he doesn’t like and pretending to be shocked that the Afikomen is missing. Even when Uncle Andy was the culprit behind the missing Afikomen, Grandpa would make sure that the grandchildren would be the ones getting the presents!
There was no one who Grandpa loved more than his 4 grandchildren and 4 great-grandchildren. Sarah and I were privileged to spend a lot of time with Granny and Grandpa growing up. And I remember how much they always looked forward to their twice yearly trips to California to see Mack and Ethan. Grandpa was so proud of all of us for our accomplishments. Apparently, none more so than Sarah’s since on at least 2 occasions (her college graduation and her wedding) he told her it was the happiest day of his life! Although he may not have always been so verbal about it, the look on his face at my own graduation and my wedding said enough. Whenever I hear the 6th of the 7 Sheva Brachot said at a wedding, I think of Grandpa and how happily and proudly he said the words “Sameach t’samach reyim ha’ahuvim” meaning “grant abundant happiness to the beloved friends.” To me, that’s what Grandpa did. He granted abundant happiness to those around him.
And he felt abundant happiness when he was surrounded by us. He loved when we would visit him and Granny in Florida. He always acted like we were doing him such a huge favor by coming, but I think and hope that he knew how much we loved going to see him and how we did not see it as a burden or obligation but as something we really wanted to do. That goes double for the great-grandchildren. I don’t know many 90 year olds who literally get down on the floor to play with their great-grandchildren. He was always up for taking the boys down to play golf or shuffleboard. You could see on his face that he just loved watching them and enjoying having them around. Of course, he might have been enjoying them so much because he had turned off his hearing aid so he couldn’t hear all the noise they were making…
Each great-grandchild had his own relationship with Grandpa. Simon still talks about the time he got to go to Grandpa’s house by himself with Ducky and how Grandpa played shuffleboard just with him. Eli, who generally hates anyone who isn’t David, loved Grandpa so much and would go running straight into his arms. Last year, Grandpa took Joshua to Toys R Us and told him he could buy whatever he wanted. Then he patiently walked around the entire store with Joshua waiting while he chose what to get. Understanding that you don’t rush a 6 year old in a toy store. Sadly, Zachary probably won’t remember Grandpa, the great-grandfather who called him “the little guy.” Obviously being ironic for anyone who has seen the size of Zachary.
Sarah said that she remembers Grandpa as being pretty much the best person she knew. I think that about sums it up right. There was nothing fake about him-he was who he was. Just a guy who never drank water because it rusted the pipes, who rarely sat down, who enjoyed a good bloody mary and who loved his family more than anything else. And whose family loved him more than anything else too. Grandpa, I can’t believe you are gone. I can’t believe I’ll never hear you say “heeeey Emerson!” to me again. I know you are happily reunited with Granny and together are watching over us, but I can’t help wishing you were both here with us instead.